star-crossed melodies

aw gee…
it’s been a long time hasn’t it?
well, it’s just that i’ve been thinking…and of course, tried to contemplate everything. if you might want to know also (i believe you dont’ really want to) that these several days my record book were empty. i don’t know. it used to be full of things…i made an entry almost everyday! in certain times, with full of inspirations and events, i made an entry more than once a day. but now…i just became dull. i’ve made letters more rather than making entry in the book nowadays. and that was quite really annoying because once i’ve written the letter i did not know how to manage them. so i ended up putting them inside the record book. the book became twice thicker now.
anyway, i don’t know why. and i kept asking myself that question again and again. why and what? just about everything.
well, i saw that things were starting to get better once again though. the first announced score was quite satisfactory and i’m looking forward seeing the other ones. good ones, that is. well, as they said…and as i recalled…after a long dark night, the sun shall rise once again, and there will be light. i hope it would ended up the same for me. i desperately hoped for that light. i really did. and i saw glimpses, flashes. let’s just hope for the best.
tom out.

well then…
it’s been a while now. a while since the final engagement. we all know the result, we all know the outcome, and we all know of what to do next.
but still, i felt this tense that i haven’t felt since…

the thoughts…
a small part kept saying, "keep it up dude! it’s you…i know you’re being true. don’t loose it!"
but the darkside was always there, "nah dude…disengage! i repeat, disengage! there’s nothing more worth fighting for! walk the path of the darkside and you’ve nothing to loose!"

i’d stick to the better part of my soul. but the the other one made a point. plus, the reality showed that it took me even further from my intention, plus i’m starting to loose myself.
darned, in time like this i remembered what someone said…

"you’re focusing on the negatives. be mindful of your thoughts, young one. they betray you."
my thoughts and feelings…do they really betray me?